Need something to help your self-confidence? Watch this!
Do something great today! Find what your purpose is and go out and do it. Let no one stop you. People may tell you "no" but you keep going until you get "yes". Ones who love you, may not believe in you yet, but that's okay, as long as you believe in yourself. They may not see your vision yet. You can not let fear hold you back ever. We stop believing in ourselves as we get older, but many like Einstein and Edison failed several times before succeeding. Seize the Day!
Friday, March 4, 2011
My Story
I have been holding onto a family secret because of the shame. I have over-come, am overcoming, not sure... a family tragedy.
I lost my mother the day after Thanksgiving 2009. It was after she had been brutally beaten by my mentally-ill step-brother. He had been mentally-ill for several years. Later on my mom said it was "bipolar" disorder. After her death, I found out it was Schizophrenia.
I stood by her side for two days, holding her hand because I KNEW I may never have the chance to do it ever again. What a cruel thought... I may never hold her hand again. My thoughts kept saying that over and over every time I would stand up to leave the room. I could not leave. I kept coming back, holding her hand repeatedly.
Finding the blessings in life take time like anything else. My mom's death was not a blessing but her life was. She had many people at her funeral who were genuinely distrought by losing her. She made their lives better in some way. Not to sound like I think I am a saint, because I'm not, but she instilled that desire to help others in me. It is merely a calling or a talent that has to be shared much like being a good soccer player like my sons or being good at problem-solving like my husband. So I HAVE to try to help someone else express what they are feeling right now just so I can fulfill my own God-given purpose. (whether you believe in Him or not, he's still here)
My BIGGEST FEAR: that I could not ever get over the pain or shame. The pain was different than what anyone I knew had overcome and shame was so deep. Would people think I had known my brother would do that and I didn't protect my mom? Was I too crazy like him? (runs in his dad's side actually) Would people feel weird about it and not want to be friends?
So, not being able to talk to anyone, I decided to find ways to deal on my own.
What did I do? I journaled, exercised more-longer 2 hours sometimes, I even started running, which I never enjoyed until now, I went to support groups, talked to people who were positive, stopped watching news and negative things. I also started reading A LOT about becoming a better person. I started listening to positive books on CD in my car instead of music.
Why? to nurture myself. I had to nurture myself. You NEED to do the same or you will become someome else.
I lost my mother the day after Thanksgiving 2009. It was after she had been brutally beaten by my mentally-ill step-brother. He had been mentally-ill for several years. Later on my mom said it was "bipolar" disorder. After her death, I found out it was Schizophrenia.
I stood by her side for two days, holding her hand because I KNEW I may never have the chance to do it ever again. What a cruel thought... I may never hold her hand again. My thoughts kept saying that over and over every time I would stand up to leave the room. I could not leave. I kept coming back, holding her hand repeatedly.
Finding the blessings in life take time like anything else. My mom's death was not a blessing but her life was. She had many people at her funeral who were genuinely distrought by losing her. She made their lives better in some way. Not to sound like I think I am a saint, because I'm not, but she instilled that desire to help others in me. It is merely a calling or a talent that has to be shared much like being a good soccer player like my sons or being good at problem-solving like my husband. So I HAVE to try to help someone else express what they are feeling right now just so I can fulfill my own God-given purpose. (whether you believe in Him or not, he's still here)
My BIGGEST FEAR: that I could not ever get over the pain or shame. The pain was different than what anyone I knew had overcome and shame was so deep. Would people think I had known my brother would do that and I didn't protect my mom? Was I too crazy like him? (runs in his dad's side actually) Would people feel weird about it and not want to be friends?
So, not being able to talk to anyone, I decided to find ways to deal on my own.
What did I do? I journaled, exercised more-longer 2 hours sometimes, I even started running, which I never enjoyed until now, I went to support groups, talked to people who were positive, stopped watching news and negative things. I also started reading A LOT about becoming a better person. I started listening to positive books on CD in my car instead of music.
Why? to nurture myself. I had to nurture myself. You NEED to do the same or you will become someome else.
Encouragement
Need some? Click on this video and find that fighter in you.
It helps me to remember these words spoken during this speech.
It helps me to remember these words spoken during this speech.
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